Keith, for the past decade, Lance Armstrong has been one of the biggest sports stars in the world. He`s been one that every American loves. After all, he`s not on a team that you don`t like, he didn`t go to a college that rivaled yours…he basically rode for ‘Team America’ and he beat the jealous Europeans every year.
In any other era, news that Lance Armstrong, superstar athlete, cancer-surviving philanthropist, was being accused of cheating the very sport he made so famous, would be cause for hysterics. It would be a double murder shy of OJ… it would be cause for water cooler conversations across America from grade schools to nursing homes. There would be round-the-clock news coverage and everyone would have an opinion.
But it just so happens that this is the Steroid Era and handing a weary American public one more scoop is like handing a kid a Snickers bar on the day after Halloween. I don`t know about you, but when it comes to news on athletes and performance enhancing drugs, each new day, now, feels like I drank a gallon jug of strawberry/rhubarb wine the night before. I am numb to it, man. I feel like a parent who just drove a car load of kids to Alaska… I can`t even hear it, anymore. Hasn`t there been some Roger Clemens trial going on for the last few weeks? Let me tell you something… If he had pantsed himself in the courtroom and injected steroids right in front of the judge, I wouldn`t know about it, because now hear this… I… DON`T… CARE.
I realize that looking the other way on injustice is a bad thing to do, but we`ve been staring it head on for years, now, and am startin` to see spots! I hear about Lance Armstrong and I`m not surprised, I`m not confused, I`m not angry and I don`t feel cheated. I feel like I lost my car keys the week after I`d totaled the car. My fandom has been stretched thin and stepped all over…like a like a sweat sock on a fat guy`s foot! I`ve lost my form, I can`t snap back, and there`s no amount of Tide in the world that can wash me clean again. Lance Armstrong was doping? You call that news? I call that finding a pimple on a warthog. I realize that`s no way to be, but that`s only because that`s the way it is. I`m Andy Fales, and that`s What`s Bugging Me.