Murphy’s Law: Merry Christmas. Hope You Enjoy These Gifts.
It’s better to give than receive, and I love gift-giving. So here we go. Let’s make 2013 an even better local sports year than 2012. And 2012 was pretty good.
We start with Kirk Ferentz: He gets a confident, competent quarterback. And a little less stubbornness. Good for everyone.
For offensive coordinator Greg Davis, a third down pass-play that goes past the first down marker.
Paul Rhoads, a quarterback who keeps the job—Maybe, he’s already here—and let’s throw in a Liberty bowl win to boot.
For Jake Knott, the man who needs no painkillers… more football games. The NFL would be a nice place to start.
For Fred Hoiberg, a leader who steps up, and takes over. Korey Lucious taking better care of the basketball would be nice too.
For Fran McCaffery, some outside shooting to go with all those dunks. And for Eric May, a poster of that dunk vs Coppin State.
For Aaron White, a starring role in the long-awaited sequel, White Men Can Jump.
And for Royce White, common ground, restful mind, and time out from twitter.
For the Pewter family, a nice Iowa farm, surrounded by love and acceptance.
For the University of Iowa, the good sense to show more transparency.
For “Your Mom”… congratulations. Your Mom won the national championship. That’s the Des Moines roller derby team’s name… Your Mom.
For the Iowa Barnstormers, a playoff team, and a fully engaged, nutbar barn! Just like the old days.
The Iowa Energy, another title run. It made more people notice this underrated sports entertainment.
For the Iowa Cubs, spring. That’s it. Spring. Please hurry. I can’t feel my toes.
For adopted Iowan, and Olympic gold medalist, Gabby Douglas, a chance to catch your breath… then back to the gym with the incomparable Liang Chow.
For Coach Chow, a warm hug. And a thank you card from the West Des Moines chamber. People move here because of Chow.
For former Roosevelt Roughrider Lolo Jones, peace of mind. You did your best. That’s enough.
For the Drake Relays, great weather, every seat filled, and no one taking this world-class event for granted.
For the Principal Charity Classic, that your new home is as nice as your former home. And that the welcome mat stays out longer.
Iowa Speedway, a Sprint Cup race. And fan friendly starting times.
For Jeremy Stevens, duck! Dang. Too late. He’ll get up. He always does.
For the Big Four Classic, a sellout. And people in their seats for both games.
For RVTV, that every town throws a Cy-Hawk street party like Knoxville. Or Albia.
For the visionary Cyclones.tv, welcome to cable on Mediacom. Great move, now enjoy the gift of high-definition as soon as possible. Whatever it takes.
Ryder Cup stud, Zach Johnson… a second major, just for kicks.
For Grinnell College sharpshooter Jack Taylor, another one hundred point game. Just so you can say, “one hundred?.. no, that wasn’t my best night. Not even close. Try 138.”
For Scott Siepker, aka the Iowa Nice Guy, keep the heat on Nebraska. Something tells me we won’t see as much of Cooter Ray in 2013.
For Jerry Pezzetti, a ride into the sunset, if you want it. What a way for Ankeny to finish its final football season as one school.
Valley’s Peter Jok, a senior season that reminds everyone why you were once a top recruit nationally.
Joel Hanrahan, that Red Sox fans appreciate you as much as Pittsburgh and Norwalk fans do.
For the UNI football team, more left in the tank after expending so much energy early in the season.
For Ames’ Harrison Barnes, a long NBA career. He wasn’t much of an intern. In fariness, he only put in one day. Still, working here at channel 13 seems out of the question, though we do have an opening.
For Chris Hassel, that ESPN won’t turn him into just another talking head with wanna-be catch-phrases. Turn the Hazzle Dazzle loose! Well, some of the Hazzle Dazzle. America isn’t ready for all of it.
For Andy Fales, that every day you’ll feel the warmth of turning down a job in your old hometown, to stay here in your new hometown. Here with your old buddy, ME!
For John Sears, another high-five from Danica Patrick. Danica’s right. John really is doing a nice job.
For John Bachman, a happy retirement. Who are we kidding? John doesn’t need anything else this Christmas.
And to you and yours, Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, thanks for letting me work in the toy store of television news.