MURPHY’S LAW: Halloween Humor, Diehard Fans, Des Moines Snubbed

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Another Halloween in the books. My favorite jokes from the front door costumed comics performing one night only at Murphy Manor:

What do you call someone who puts poison in a person’s corn flakes?  A cereal killer.

Why did the ghost go into the bar? For the boos.

Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers? No, they eat the fingers separately.

They’ll be here all week. Tip your bartenders and waitresses. …

My friend Scott Siepker brought it strong for Iowa Nice Guy’s Halloween Special. He somehow worked in jokes about Bo Pelini, Nebraska, and Iowa’s inability to cover a fake punt:

One of my followers on Twitter, Andrew Burt, says he ensured he won’t have as many kids for Beggars Night next year. He handed out Almond Joys. That would keep me away. You either don’t like coconut, or you’re nuts. …

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The NBA’s worst team (on paper) beat the Heat Wednesday night. Any chance the Heat wasn’t giving 100%. Or as athletes like to say, though mathematically impossible, 110%. …

Allen Iverson retired from the NBA this week. This came as news to many people. They thought AI retired years ago. He was fun to watch in his prime. Somehow, he’ll still fire off a few shots in retirement. …

My grandfather was a diehard Red Sox fan. His world revolved around watching the Red Sox whenever they were on TV, and in Vermont, that’s just about every game. Grandpa just wanted to see the Red Sox win a world series before he died. He didn’t make it. Or they didn’t. He died in September 2004. The next month the Sox ended an 86 year drought. Now they’ve won it three times since Grandpa died. All three times, it was the first thing that crossed my mind.

The Red Sox used to be the butt of many “die before they win it all” jokes. Now it’s the Cubs. But for some people, it’s no joke. There’s a good chance you know a Cubs fan who wonders if he’ll, or she’ll, ever see a championship celebration. …

Lot of talk the Red Sox are now a dynasty. Titles in 2004, 2007, and 2013. To me, that’s not a dynasty. Too spread out, and almost entirely different teams each time. Team of the century so far though. …

Anyone buying Dez Bryant as motivational speaker? …

Add the San Francisco Chronicle to those opting to no longer call the Washington Redskins by their nickname. Redskins remains the nickname, so regardless how the newspaper feels about it, it should continue printing it. That’s one man’s opinion. Many will disagree. …

Hey Nick Saban, if you don’t want fans leaving Alabama’s games early, stop scheduling division three teams. …

The first round of the high school football playoffs was again an endless run of blowouts. That’s not much fun for either team, though clearly more fun for one than the other. 7-2 or 8-1 teams missing the playoffs didn’t work either, but there has to be a way to meet in the middle. …

Big Papi just added another hit. …

After the way Des Moines rolled out the red carpet, hugged all visitors, and sold out every session of the NCAA wrestling championships, it seems wrong we’re not a finalist for wrestling, volleyball, or track & field through 2018. We lose to bigger cities, more seats, and closer hotels, but still.(?) Their loss. …

Love the way Iowa’s Fran McCaffery makes no attempt to downplay expectations. He thinks Iowa should be and will be good. The confidence will wear off on his players. …

Our state’s most underrated basketball player, Melvin Ejim, will miss four to six weeks, according to Iowa State. That would keep Ejim out of games against BYU, Michigan, Auburn, and others. Cyclone fans hope Ejim returns for UNI December 7th, or at minimum, Iowa on the 13th (Friday the 13th). …

Royce White passed on entering the NBA D-League draft. We shouldn’t be surprised. He’s still being paid by the Rockets, and showed up for the 76ers out of shape. Philly cut White. …

The Dropkick Murphys have a great name (no bias), and a classic song, “Shipping Up To Boston”.  Not sure the Murphys are made for our National Anthem, but compared to the divas who make the song about extending notes and showing off, I’ll take it:

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