Dear Old Man Winter,
I`ll try to be polite,
We`ve had four long months of you and yours,
And think the timing`s right.
For you to move along,
You know, to be on your way?
To head on down the line,
To just–go away.
You know how the saying goes,
The one about company and fish?
They start to stink when they`re around too long
And about you we feel the same-ish!
We liked the nice white Christmas,
And had our share of winter cheer
But now it`s almost April,
So why are you still here?
What is there left to prove?
You`ve buried us in snow,
You froze the ground three feet down,
And stopped our rivers` flow!
We understand the system,
We`re Iowa and you`re winter,
But you`ve given us not a single break,
No shred, no piece, no splinter.
We want our outdoors back,
Come on, you know it`s true.
The children want to go out and play,
And the parents want that, too!
We`re doing what we can,
To flatten up our tummies,
But it`s still so cold we have to wrap ourselves,
And jog around like mummies!
We need some color soon,
Some flowers around the town,
We`re finished acting all impressed
With your fifty shades of brown, brown, brown is all there is!
Just dirt and dormant plants,
Even all the roses,
Have a sullen, shriveled slant.
Alright, I`ve gone on too long,
So I`ll sum it up for you once more,
You have over-stayed your welcome,
And we`re showing you the door.
Gather up that last dirty pile of snow,
And Peace out, vamoose!
See you next November, signed,
Andy Fales, Channel 13 News.