SIMPLE REQUEST: Dear Old Man Winter…

Dear Old Man Winter,
I`ll try to be polite,
We`ve had four long months of you and yours,
And think the timing`s right.

For you to move along,
You know, to be on your way?
To head on down the line,
To just--go away.

You know how the saying goes,
The one about company and fish?
They start to stink when they`re around too long
And about you we feel the same-ish!

We liked the nice white Christmas,
And had our share of winter cheer
But now it`s almost April,
So why are you still here?

What is there left to prove?
You`ve buried us in snow,
You froze the ground three feet down,
And stopped our rivers` flow!

We understand the system,
We`re Iowa and you`re winter,
But you`ve given us not a single break,
No shred, no piece, no splinter.

We want our outdoors back,
Come on, you know it`s true.
The children want to go out and play,
And the parents want that, too!

We`re doing what we can,
To flatten up our tummies,
But it`s still so cold we have to wrap ourselves,
And jog around like mummies!

We need some color soon,
Some flowers around the town,
We`re finished acting all impressed
With your fifty shades of brown, brown, brown is all there is!
Just dirt and dormant plants,
Even all the roses,
Have a sullen, shriveled slant.

Alright, I`ve gone on too long,
So I`ll sum it up for you once more,
You have over-stayed your welcome,
And we`re showing you the door.

Gather up that last dirty pile of snow,
And Peace out, vamoose!
See you next November, signed,
Andy Fales, Channel 13 News.


  • Scootiep

    Winter’s response: “When did Iowan’s become such panzies? I give you nearly 5 years off from any real winter weather and this is the thanks I get? How about learning to bundle up and taking your kids out sledding, skiing, ice fishing, or winter hiking? Apparently I need to make a few more strong return trips to toughen you guys back up!”

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