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13 fascinating facts about Chris Hassel:
• In 10th grade, I taught myself how to write upside down and backwards. You see, I had a science test that I was bound to fail, and all we could use was a plain white cover sheet. I wrote my notes on the back... and I could read them through the sheet.
• I was part of the 2001 4A state championship golf team at Muscatine High School as a junior.
• I was in position to head to state again my senior year. However, I was disqualified from districts because I beat up one of the opposing players on the 17th hole. He tried to penalize me for cussing. We qualified for state, but I wasn't eligible to compete.
• I wake up at 1:30pm and go to bed around 3:30am. In the winter, I see about 3 hours of light each day.
• When I was in Kindergarten, I fell asleep on the back of the bus on the way to school. I woke up some two hours later to an empty bus at small home in the middle of the country. When I wandered into the house, the bus driver was watching 'The Golden Girls'. I missed the entire day of school.
• On the first day of 7th grade, I told my math teacher I was allergic to lead. It was a lie. I was the only student allowed to do my homework with pen.
• When I sleep, I have to use a fan. A big fan. Industrial strength. My wife hates it. My ideal bed would sit in the center of the room with four fans hitting me from all directions on the floor and a ceiling fan up above.
• I ended my basketball career while yelling at my 9th grade girlfriend. Instead of attending an after-school practice, I decided to argue with her until I got my way. I didn't get my way... and I was kicked off the team.
• I once went 2 years, IN COLLEGE, without eating a French fry. I'll never go back on that diet.
• My 1st grade teacher's name was Sister Ellia. She didn't have eyes in the back of her head. She had mirrors on the sides of her glasses.
• On October 26th, 2002... I became the first Muscatine High School student to walk out of an ACT test. I was able to complete the "reading" section, before succumbing to the power of sports. Iowa was playing Michigan in football that day, and I simply couldn't concentrate. I was the only one without a test score, but also the only one who saw the game.
• I was the first person in my class to begin shaving (I had a mustache in 3rd grade). Yet, two decades later, I still can't grow a full beard. Go figure.
• I didn't read a single book from 6th-12th grade. When we were asked to give book reports, I made up a title, and created my own story.

Iowa native Chris Hassel joined the Channel 13 Sports team in June 2007.

"I can't believe they hired me," exclaims Hassel. "And what's nice is that there's no act to follow."

"When Chris showed up for his interview dressed in a suit and attempting to impress with his business acumen, we were concerned, partly because we had to look up the definition of acumen," says Channel 13 Sports Director Keith Murphy. "But once he got the job, we saw the real Chris. He showed up for his first day of work in cargo shorts, jacked up on Mountain Dew, and doing impressions of Jim Zabel. We knew right then he'd fit in."

Chris came to Channel 13 Sports from Davenport where he was a sports anchor/reporter for KLJB-Fox 18 TV. In addition to his television duties, he also served as the morning news anchor for WOC-AM Radio and Sports Director for St. Ambrose University's TV and radio stations. He has also been involved in Learfield Sports Iowa Hawkeye Football broadcasts as a pre and post-game host. Chris earned his Bachelor of Arts degree in radio and television from St. Ambrose University in Davenport.

Chris enjoys being frustrated by the Cubs, yelling at his TV when the Bears are playing, and making sure he can have vacation his first year on the job so he can get married. Though his primary duties will be sports reporting, Chris will anchor some weekend sportscasts.


Recent Articles
  • MURPHY’S LAW: Nail in Foot, Shot in Arm

    By Chris Hassel My day did not get off on the right foot, so to speak. After brushing my teeth, I was exiting the bathroom, I felt a sharp pain in my left foot. I looked down to see that my foot was bleeding — I stepped on a nail. A little nail in the divider between the bathroom linoleum and the hallway carpet. The biggest problem wasn’t the blood, or the pain; it was the fact that now I […]

  • MURPHY’S LAW: Interesting Look Alikes, Burglars Spanked, Keys in Trunk

    By Chris Hassel We received some interesting look alikes, this week. All of them from the same person. We are saving the best one for SoundOFF on Sunday, but here are a few:      Andy Fales and the Octomom.   I’m listening to Murph n Andy on iheartradio, right now. The 3pm segment was one of the best I’ve heard in a long time. You can listen to it here. Beware. It’s not for everyone, but it’s definitely for […]

  • MURPHY’S LAW: Email Cleanse, Bosnian Wedding, 7 Straight

    By Chris Hassel I’ve spent much of the last two days cleaning out my inbox. I still have 12,438 unread emails. Probably 10,000 more emails that I’ve read and haven’t deleted. My eyes hurt.  Andy tweets that he’s at a Bosnian wedding reception. Last week he was at a Bosnian graduation party where they roasted a sheep (head in tact). I wonder what they plan to roast at the reception? A golden jackal, perhaps? The Cedar Rapids Xavier girls soccer […]

  • MURPHY’S LAW: Rhoads’ Stache, Dario vs. Helio, Rizzo Hurt

    By Chris Hassel Paul Rhoads has done away with the beard and unleashed the handlebar beast. Here’s to hoping he keeps this baby around for a while. Indycar’s best drivers are in Iowa, today, to test out some new tires on the Iowa Speedway. I was having a debate with a friend about Dario and Helio, Monday night. He thinks that more girls know who Helio is that know who Dario is. I find that extremely hard to believe. Anthony […]

  • MURPHY’S LAW: Tiger, Berman, Miller 64

    By Chris Hassel As I begin writing this blog, Tiger Woods is tied for the lead at 1-under-par, at the U.S. Open. Yesterday I tweeted that this seemed like one of those majors where Tiger laps the field. That was when he was 3 back. It’s amazing how many people love to hate on Tiger. I don’t like Tiger as a person, but I love him as a player. Someone asked me why I loved Tiger, and hated LeBron. Easy. […]

  • MURPHY’S LAW: Saturday Scattershots

    By Chris Hassel Well, I was wrong (as were a lot of people), Tiger Woods isn’t running away with the U.S. Open. I still think when it’s all said and done, Tiger will be hoisting the trophy on Sunday night. I like these west coast tournaments. The leaders didn’t tee off today until about 5pm central time — right about the time I woke up. NBC golf analyst Johnny Miller referred to one of Jim Furyk’s shots as a “skanky […]

  • MURPHY’S LAW: Jungle Bird, Tiger, DJK

    By Chris Hassel I’m hoping all of you were lucky enough to see the english birdman interrupt the U.S. Open trophy presentation, Sunday night. It turns out the guy wasn’t just a drunken Brit — he’s a deforestation activist calling himself the “Jungle Bird”. You can purchase Jungle Bird merchandise, here. I’m a big fan of the eco-friendly cotton tote. It’s only $17.50. Tiger Woods didn’t lap the field at the Open. He didn’t win. Heck, he didn’t even come […]

  • MURPHY’S LAW: Lololympics, Bruce Jenner, $14 Fatale

    By Chris Hassel Lolo did it. Many people (including me) didn’t think she would make the Olympic team, but she did. It was nice to see that ol’ Lolo smile return after placing third in the 100m hurdle final. You could say that 4 years of hard work came down to 12 seconds, but in actuality, it was .04 seconds. Lolo just nipped 4th place finisher, Virginia Crawford. After the Lolo’s semifinal run of 12.75 seconds, I said on Twitter […]

  • MURPHY’S LAW: Muscatine vs. Des Moines, Thunder vs. Heat, White vs. Royce

    By Chris Hassel It’s a dark day for my hometown of Muscatine. The darkest since KB Toys closed down at the Muscatine Mall in 1992. The Girls State Soccer Tournament has been moved to Cownie Soccer Complex in Des Moines. Sure, some schools won’t have to drive as far, but they’ll never again get to have a victory meal at Diamond Dave’s, or take a dip in the Mississippi. A sad, sad, day to be a Muskie. Lolo was a […]

  • MURPHY’S LAW: Game 5, Freshman Phenoms, Zach Explodes

    By Chris Hassel Game 5 of the NBA Finals tonight. I think it ends tonight. I hope it doesn’t. No team has ever come back from a 3-games-to-1 deficit in the NBA Finals. It would be interesting to see it go back to OKC with the Thunder trailing 3-2. The pressure on LeBron would be out of this world. It’s hard to know what to make of college basketball summer leagues, but Iowa and ISU’s incoming freshman look pretty darn […]

  • MURPHY’S LAW: Hammer Time, King Crowned, Beer Bracket

    By Chris Hassel Lolo Jones begins her quest for the 2012 Olympics, Friday night. If she fails to finish the race, her journey will end. If she advances, she will race again on Saturday afternoon in the semifinals. The finals are Saturday night on NBC. For the first time in Channel 13 history, MC Hammer appeared in a sportscast, last night. LeBron James has his championship. He’s the best player in the NBA, and one of the best I’ve ever […]

  • MURPHY’S LAW: Keith’s “I Think”

    I’m stuck in Denver. I won’t be making it back in time for SoundOFF, tonight. But here’s what I Think: PARDON MY CAPS!!!! AIRLINES, STOP TREATING YOUR CUSTOMERS LIKE CHILDREN DURING DELAYS, MOVING THE DEPARTURE A HALF HOUR AT A TIME WHEN YOU KNOW THE DANG PLANE IS FOUR HOURS AWAY. AND BRING ME A JUICE BOX! I THINK IT’S GREAT TO SEE LOLO JONES GET HER SMILE BACK. LOLO FACED UNIMAGINABLE PRESSURE–MUCH OF IT SELF-INDUCED–AND SHE DELIVERED. LOLO BEING […]

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